I love meeting people. I thought we'd graduated from the CQ bridge, but clearly, we have not and I'm glad for it, in a way...this particular bash one was thoroughly entertaining.
person 1: 'O i love your dress. I have the same one'
person 2: 'Oh I'm sure it looks better on you. It doesn't fit me very well, because I'm so skinny... but this was the smallest size.'
person 1: 'Is that right...'
person 2: 'Anyway, I'm glad you didn't wear the same dress.'
And a vignette for you:
Random guy surrounded by group of people:
' I recently met someone and she asked me where I work. I said, BP. Wham! She punched me! On the face! "How could you," she said, "how could you stay...after... the reckless loss of life and property they caused" I was like, lady, its not like we planned it. Shit happens. Then I asked her what she did. She named a private equity firm. So I told her that firms like her's fire people without prior warning causing a reckless loss of life and property. " Ha!" she said, " but its not part of our company policy" As if creating oil spills is part of OUR company policy. So I tried to explain to her again- shit happens. Then she asked me what I did at BP. I said I was an oil trader. Wham! She punched me again! Apparently I was part of the oil racketeering business that lead to wars and natural disasters. But hey, I said, dont shoot the enabler! When you guys stop taking flights on Tiger airways then we'll talk. You think you could get a ticket to Kuala Lumpur at 35 dollars if Tiger airways didn't hedge oil prices?"
Anyway, I took the last train home, seated opposite a girl with pink hair, blue toe nails and purple contact lenses. The disembodied grandmother voice over the platform speaker phones kept reminding me that ' the train at platform A to Pasir Ris will no longer be arriving. The last train to Pasir Ris has terminated at 11.45pm. Goodnight,' just stopping short of saying, 'run along now, time for bedsies.'
person 1: 'O i love your dress. I have the same one'
person 2: 'Oh I'm sure it looks better on you. It doesn't fit me very well, because I'm so skinny... but this was the smallest size.'
person 1: 'Is that right...'
person 2: 'Anyway, I'm glad you didn't wear the same dress.'
And a vignette for you:
Random guy surrounded by group of people:
' I recently met someone and she asked me where I work. I said, BP. Wham! She punched me! On the face! "How could you," she said, "how could you stay...after... the reckless loss of life and property they caused" I was like, lady, its not like we planned it. Shit happens. Then I asked her what she did. She named a private equity firm. So I told her that firms like her's fire people without prior warning causing a reckless loss of life and property. " Ha!" she said, " but its not part of our company policy" As if creating oil spills is part of OUR company policy. So I tried to explain to her again- shit happens. Then she asked me what I did at BP. I said I was an oil trader. Wham! She punched me again! Apparently I was part of the oil racketeering business that lead to wars and natural disasters. But hey, I said, dont shoot the enabler! When you guys stop taking flights on Tiger airways then we'll talk. You think you could get a ticket to Kuala Lumpur at 35 dollars if Tiger airways didn't hedge oil prices?"
Anyway, I took the last train home, seated opposite a girl with pink hair, blue toe nails and purple contact lenses. The disembodied grandmother voice over the platform speaker phones kept reminding me that ' the train at platform A to Pasir Ris will no longer be arriving. The last train to Pasir Ris has terminated at 11.45pm. Goodnight,' just stopping short of saying, 'run along now, time for bedsies.'
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